Talk About It

"What if your problem is a problem for that problem?"

That sums up the remarkable rise of Jude Agaba also known as MI.
When he had to drop out of college in the United States, because he couldn't pay his fees, many thought he was done for. He came back home, picked himself up and tapped into his calling. Enter "crowd mentality". And the craze began.

This piece actually isn't about his debut album, no, but about "illegal music", a mixtape of samples taken from classics. From track 1 to 14, totally crazy! This mixtape is a totally off the chains, a masterpiece...MI just got crowned king of naija rap.

The lyrics and arrangement made the classics sampled feel fresh all over again, including the chatbuster made from "Gbono feli feli". This guy is bound to attract attention from the world of hip hop, and he looks more than ready to deliver. With his brother Jesse Jagz (a potential kryptonite himself) as producer, chocolatefactory's bank account is bound to remain blue for a while to come. With the hip hop community in naija rallying to record with him, all hail the new Akon, but his is the MI brand.

Download illegal music:the samples mixtape here as a rar and zip file. It is free.

Open letter to the scammed, so you won't be damned.

Dear Mr. I-just-got-scalped,

I know this isn't a time you would love to read anything that looks like a letter sent on the internet, I understand, considering the fact that your recent loss of a colossal amount came from reading a damn poorly written but convincing email from a guy everybody thinks is from Nigeria. Well, Mr. Grieving, I am also Nigerian. I recently wrote a letter to a Nigerian celebrity, slating him for his support for the guys who did you in. But I also find it necessary to say a word or two to you too, since you seem not to know the difference between an email and a letter bomb.

If you just began reading this line then I commend you, you have chosen not to be cohesed into believing anything presented with words is coming to get the rest of your savings. Your courage might infact save you from having to grieve a second time.

If you can recollect, both of us have had this interaction before, when I painstakingly made a video, warning you about the dangers of letting your guard down, about the dangers of greed and lack of common sense. I remember you and your friends laughing at my accent, reminding me that for all you cared I could actually be a stammer trying out a new format on you. Oh, you do not understand what I mean by "format", well that is what the name of the email you read from Mr. Abass Abacha, the guy who told you he had the magic powder to turn toilet paper into euros and dollars. Well, I tried to warn you, I tried to inject into you a dose of common sense, I tried to make you understand that humans are not so generous, the human race hasn't overnight began to go by the tenets of "love thy neighbour as yourself", they have never done it, don't be fooled, they won't do it now.

If you can recollect, I outlined a number of ways they could come at you, and I equally gave you antidotes which can only work if you ingested them with a pinch of common sense. I told you who to run to in case of doubt, you probably looked at me like some guy who had a trick or two up his sleeves, who at the right time would unleash the scamming streak. No Jose, not every Nigerian, or indeed African is into scamming, it is indeed a growing minuscule number of us who have decided that legitimate labour is bad labour. Yes, you read right, the number is growing. It pains me to accept that fact. I have poverty, a failed system, and YOU are to blame for this, yes you.

The laws of demand and supply, which your forefathers thrust upon us simply states that "an increase in demand leads to an increase in supply, and a decrease in demand leads to a decrease in supply", business is elastic, if a venture isn't paying dividends you leave it, that applies to scamming. If only you and your friends could bury your quest for easy money, if ony you could hold back and consider why a strange fellow will offer you some magic that will make you rich, why some guy with bad English, but claims to be an expat moving to another country will offer you his apartment festooned with all the ornaments that ardone the home of the gentry and the palaces of kings for a ridiculous amount, a guy you have never set eyes on, why anyone would tell you he has somebody else's money he wishes to share with you, hold back and think for once in your life how you have won a lottery you never played, how your banker, who normally transacts business that concern your account with you in person and through the post would suddenly send you an email asking you to visit some queer address and enter your valuable digits, stop and think with your head and not your wallet.

Ok, I guess I have been too hard on you, you deserve understanding, but I am urging you to help us fight this menace, we want our name back, we do not want to go through airports and have "SSSS" on our boarding passes just because of our passport, we as professionals, engineers, doctors, teachers, genuine business men, living and working abroad, doing legitimate business with the world, we want our names back, we want to once again be proud of our nationality, we do not fancy a reputation like the Italians and Colombians, we want the world to be able to sleep with eyes cloaed when we are around them. Our country is doing all it can, but our efforts will come to nought because of the anonymity of the internet and you refusal to think and cure your greed or your naivity. Calling it the "Nigerian scam" won't stop your brother from falling for a Malaysian scam artist, calling Nigerians dishonest at every opportunity won't stop the indonesian, Ghanaian, or even the American from disposing you of your valuable. Think about that.

As I go, I hope you find the courage and fortitude to bear your loss, and I hope whosoever did this to you meets his or her waterloo eventually. Accept my sincere condolence.

Yours,
Proud-hardworking-Nigerian
Sent from a BlackBerry® on O2-UK

PS: I do not proof read this letter, but then you are used to reading such.

Open Letter To Mr. Kenny Ogungbe.

Dear Kenny,

Your record label, Kennis music, has indeed been a blessing to many music artists in Nigeria, what with putting the country on the international music map with Tuface's "Afrikan Queen". But I do not want you to get excited, this letter is not in anyway a praise singing session for you, but in fact a sad commentary on how low you and your record label have sunk in a bid to reenact the tuface magic.

Today I was opportuned to watch a video of one of your new artists, Kelly Handsome, where he sang about successfully accomplishing a scamming operation. 

One would have expected that you, seen by many youths as a beacon of hope,would continue to be an  example of what legit hardwork can accomplish at a time that Nigerians in Nigeria and in diaspora are struggling to prove to the world that we believe in legitimate hardwork, that we are businessmen and professionals that can be trusted.One would have thought you could be looked upon as a shinning example, that you would not subscribe to such a shameless and thoughtless enterprise like bankrolling the adulation and hero worship of 419.

If for some reason you haven't been following international news, then maybe you haven't read the recent publication on MSNBC about how some guy got scammed on facebook, you probably wouldn't have seen how Nigeria's name was disgracefully prominent in that report. Obviously you wouldn't have seen the unflattering comments from people who would normally welcome you with open arms. You probably are also of the opinion that we do not care anymore. Sorry Mr., we still care!

It is totally disgraceful that you, a prominent celeb, even found it expedient to appear in this said scam praising video, that, my friend, is you validating  yahoo yahoo . Your integrity, as far as I am concerned, should be called to question, and your ties to the scam underworld should be looked into. To add salt to injury, the song had lines that insulted a religion you claim to practise "maga don pay, shout halleluyah", you could have fooled me. Even if you have sold your soul to the devil, simple common sense should have led you to have a rethink of going down that lane.

I cannot emphasis this enough, I am totally disappointed in you, a man who should understand that legitimate hardwork, labour, and sweat is good labour, a man who should encourage artists to produce music that would portray us as who majority of us are are, hardworking, enterprising, and intelligent, not scam artists, criminals, and all the bad adjectives that can be found. If a man of your clout (I doubt that now) would stoop as low as to have ties with scamming, then there is indeed no hope for Nigeria in the eye of the world, it is just as bad as Sean "Puffy" Combs being linked to the Medalin drug cartel. Mr. Ogungbe, you messed up. It would in your own interest if you make amends, you are only lucky you live in Nigeria, because by now the authorities would have taken you in for questioning. 

I hope you see some sense in this piece, and I hope the hardworking youths in Nigeria would by now know they cannot look up to you for jerk, because as in a line in that song, you have joined the other side and all you are waiting for is to scream "maga don pay" when your next windfall arrives. Sad.

Yours,

OmoIbadan.

Am I Happy To See You All Again?

Let me start by saying happy 2009 to y'all. I know I have been AWOL for the longest of time. Yeah, the last time you guys heard from me was sometime in 2008. I apologize, too many hustling here and there and the proverbial writer's block.

But hey, look at the bright side, I am back and alive:D

I remember I was supposed to conclude "90 Miles From Cuba"...well I am sorry again, other events have squashed that particular experience under their size 10 feet. Right now my story has switched into top gear. 

I am now engaged.

Yes, you read right, OmoIbadan has found his missing rib, his soulmate, his better half, the mother of his future children. She is like one of the most remarkable women I have met in my life, she tolerates my BS, accepts my flaws. She comes from one of the most accomodating families I have ever known. I am as happy as a clam. Don't let me even talk about how beautiful she is...I sometimes hide in a corner and steal stares at her and pinch myself to be sure this isnt a dream. She is beauuuutttiiiiful....best believe. I just had to do what was right and keep her for myself for good, so on christmas eve I popped the question officially. Yeah, her ring, I had to employ 3 women to help me assess it because only the best is good for my Chychy. I am giggling like a piglet right now (Sue me Andre!)...I love her passionately.....when we set a date, you will be the first to know.

Let me catch my breathe......

Ok....right now I am having an awesome holiday in Miami. The weather is awesome, 24 degrees celsius, I can only get temperatures close to this in the summer in Aberdeen...right now it is freezing in that city. I just feel like this vacation should go on and on and and on..but hey the bills won't pay themselves, would they?

Ok good people, this is how I open my score this new year, I hope this will be the best year of my life ever, with good health, life, even more prosperity....this I wish all of you also.

Catch ya later folks.

90 Miles from Cuba (Part1)

As I sat in the plane, in my mind wondering when and how 8 hours will fly pass without me submitting to the fact that my non-existent butt was about to go into extinction, I kept playing Will Smith's "Welcome to Miami" over and over again in my head.

Yes OmoIbadan is back! and welcome to Miami!

Ok, before I get ahead of myself here, it is not like I have relocated to Miami (though that is just a matter of time), I am still just excited about my vacation there, the ripples of all the igbadun over there are still cascading, reverberating, and, and, and, infact, I am feeling rather giddy thinking about it.

The flight from London was delayed about an hour, I didnt care, my excitement took care of all that. But when I arrived at PhiladelphiaInternational it dawned on me that it was just possible I wouldn't make it to Miami. Chei, how would my baby feel, she had being on a 60-something day countdown till my arrival, now I am just 2 and half hours from her and I had not even crossed immigration...too many people wanting to get into the USA. Wetin dem dey find sef?, can't they stay in their own country?

Anyway, I managed to cross the immigration counter, but not after the baldheaded immigration officer had asked me some very silly questions, the idiot wanted to know how come I knew Americans when I was obviously Nigerian (this was after he "Oh Nigerian"-ed me when he saw my passport), wanted to know if my friend was male or female, and what my father does. In my mind I was calling him all manners of names, most of which I can't even type on this blog because they are too unprintable for me to even think.

I got to the check-in, as I had to take a connecting flight to Miami, and was told they couldn't get me a boarding pass because the plane was already about to move. Move ke!, they can't move without me now!(like my father owned US Airways)...I began to explain how the plane left London late, how immigration delayed me, blah, blah...all the chewing gum gnashing akata told me was that she and the airline could care less. Well, I had to calm down and beg her to see if there was anything she could do. While she was doing shakara, shaking non-existent hips, and trying to make a phone call, I treid to call my girlfriend, for where?, Tmobile had blocked my sim..okpari! now I am lost in no man's land.

Well luckily, the plane knew I was VIP, and they couldn't leave without the guy travelling in the business class section of the economy section, I mean a dude who has a window seat, they decided I could still catch the plane. The yeye girl came back and told me "You have to run, and when I mean run, I mean like sprint....2 terminals down, U have got only 10 mins"...Wahala!..10 mins ke?...I still had to go through security, remove my shoe and my belt, bring out my laptop, empty everything, and get frisked by some bored looking gumba...and to even get there I had to join a queue of about 50 equally bored looking gringos....no, this wasnt happening!

I practically climbed, shoved, kneed, elbowed, and ogbojued my way through the queue, begging and apologizing as I went along, always reminding them that my plane was due to take to the air in 5 mins if I didnt move it.

I was almost a the front of the queue, when a security operative, a 60-something year old mama(I presumed) came forward and said "Stop!"...I looked at my watch, 3 mins to take off...this isn't happening to me.....

.....to be continued.

Tonight on Blogville idol....

Ok, I made it to session 2 of blogville idol!!!.....how on earth did that happen?, lol, someone must have passed my voice through a synthesizer so I came out sounding like Keith Sweat. No seriously, I listened to my entry, dayuuuuumm....I could have sworn i heard some frogs laughing outside my window.

Anyway, I am still in the hunt for the big prize, and I am so gonna tear down the mic this time...Naija jam they say, oh, that is my forte, this is where u will listen to the real Omoibadan bussing somin' on the m-i-c..best believe.

I have picked the best track anyone can find, and I am going to do massive justice to it today.

By the way, i want you to listen to this track..Naija is doing big things these deys mehn. Has anyone seen the video for "Street Credibility" from 9ice?..if U have not, see it here.

Ok now listen to Krazy Culture, sam guys that gave us "Jupa"

One of those Sundays.......

Ok, I accept my fate...I agree, I have being living in denial so far!...I am a nerd:(
Can anyone imagine anybody that wakes up on Saturday morning, gets on the computer and does what nerds do till he gets practically manhandled off the damned swivel chair just to got have some fun like much later in the night?....creeps back on Sunday morning and continues the blissful cycle?...If you have never heard of anyone like that this is OmoIbadan, and I am glad to make your acquaintance.

By the way, what's shappening people, thank you for all of the words of encouragement you sent during the harrowing experience of having to fend off an internet fiend (no pun intended), finally I got my face book "back". It wasn't a small something sha, I had to take my case to the uppermost echelon, Mark Zuckerberg himself (like I said). Dude actually replied me!!!(I implore all the bad belle people to fall waaaay back!...U know who Mark be?!!!). He actually took up the case with the support people at face book, and since the deranged jade, who actually is a smart mugu, had access to my settings, she had changed everything down to my security question. So they had no option but to delete the account. That was ok by me!!! better than knowing she was messing with the good people on my friend's list, can't put anything past the bloated hag. Anyway sha, I created a new account, had my computer formatted....life seems to be back to normal, and I will be more careful now knowing there is a cyber pshycopath on the loose out there.

Ok, Blogville idol. I seem to be the black sheep in that pack of contestants, I had to be sent a mail typed out in caps...lol, ok, I needed that, and then I recorded the most beautiful, goose pimple-inducing, tear-jerking, unforgettable solo ballad. I am so winning this competition. Let me give u a peek...my voice is a cut between, JaRule, Kanye West, Lil Wayne and Rasquie...serious Grammy worthy combo...Believe me, I have this on lockdown. I already feel like a celeb, I am typing my acceptance speech after I finish with this blog entry and don't worry, I will remember to mention all of you, yes, you too:D.

Ok, I am going back to my hopelessly nerdy ways(I hear chicks prefer nerds these days, ok..thats a bright side to it). So have yourself a swell Sunday,and an equally swell week this week...hope to talk to you guys again soon.